# 0 surrendering to the void (5/18/23)
i have been running my entire life, i have never known what it feels like to
stand still. i know that i am not the only one who knows this experience. even now,
as i embark on a 4-month hiatus from working and schooling, i feel the need to
stay busy and make meaning. and so, with this opportunity to dance with stillness I am excited to
surrender into the void of my inner world, even if just for a moment daily. this
open space is where i will return to hold my thoughts, my feelings, my musings,
my yearnings, my grief, my hopes, my dreams, my poetry, my art. here, i seek to
bare my soul in such a harsh world that at times appears to operate solely in an
effort to armor me up so much that I suffocate. ceasing to exist while still breathing. as a 26 year old Black woman
living in the United States of America, as my therapist often remarks "well,
Danielle, it makes sense your Black ass is tired," when giving me my regular
bout of encouragement on why it's necessary to prioritize my mental, emotional,
physical, and spiritual well-being by enforcing boundaries with toxic folks,
institutions, and structures. that is why, this is a place of no expectation.
here, i grant myself the permission to unapologetically express myself as
messily as I authentically am, and i welcome those who choose to take this ride
with me. thank you for your support and engagement. i have had this online domain for well over a year, titled
after my IG @im.possible_deliberately, and yet it has taken
the unexpected loss of my older sister, Mercedes Nicole Brown, at 27 years old
(6/20/95 - 5/3/23) to understand the urgency of what it means to live without
hesitation, because truly any moment can be our last. quoting Black feminist Patricia Hill Collins, "my concern now lies in finding effective ways to use the voice that I
have claimed while I have it." thank you for giving me the courage to take the
leap big sis. my blog is dedicated to you.
until next time, with Love, the DLB
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