#37 Happy PTSD awareness day! - saving my Self: a poem (6/27/23)

saving my Self: a poem 

I must become my own savior and own it. 

Not disgruntled and in contempt. 

But happily. 

Grateful to accept my existence in my own hands as the ultimate badge of honor.

Reflections:

Happy PTSD Awareness Day!

Reckoning with my complex post-traumatic stress disorder has been a journey of understanding where my innate sense of grief, loss, abandonment and resentment stem from. It sucks to experience childhood trauma because a person carries so many wounds that are unjustified, and yet it is still our responsibility to do the work of healing in adulthood. Especially if I want to live any semblance of a life that is in alignment with my true self. For me, the ups and downs feel like a daily fight for my life. 

It helps me to keep my child self in mind during the times when I feel the resentment stirring; knowing that learning how to be the role model to myself that I have always needed is the epitome of what it means to save myself; empowerment at its finest. 

Since beginning this lifelong journey of healing the trauma I carry two years ago, I have seen so many improvements in my daily well-being, with marked improvements to my sleep and eating habits, clearer skin, less alcohol intake, cleaner house, less social anxiety, more aligned relationships, noticing glimmers more, getting out of the house more, more laughing and smiling and singing. More crying, expressing when I am hurt, honoring my anger and pain. 

The ride has been wild and wonderful. Getting to the place of loving who I am on the vast majority of days is such a blessing. 

until next time, with Love, the DLB