#43 an Awakening of the Heart 🖤💖 7/14/23

As an intuitive individual, I can tell that internally and externally, I am going through a transformative transition period in my life. I have felt this coming for some time now, but the sudden loss of a loved one definitely does the trick of giving you that last nudge off of the side of all that you know into a world that is unknown. 

The last few weeks have been difficult for me, feeling weighed down by the heaviness of grief, loss, anger, sadness. And yet there is something else there too, in the distance, that warms me with its optimism and zest for embracing all that it means to live a full life in its messy complexity...                         

       

                                                                                                                                    hope. 

The internal battle puts me in a state of limbo. It has been helpful to turn to my toolkit of grounding and reflective self-care practices to process the emotions I am feeling, like journaling, tarot and oracle pulls, painting, silence, walks in nature, cleaning, yoga, podcasts, reading, naps, eating snacks, drinking water, dancing to music, orgasms. 

an Awakening of the Heart is what I am calling the process I am undergoing, which is asking me to lean into love and joy and understanding while simultaneously standing my ground to what and whom I will and will not allow in my life. Well damn, talk about having to trust your intuition... right?

My integrity a non-negotiable to having access to me now becoming cemented in stone, steadily drying, swaying back and forth on if I should continue, knowing that there is only one way forward and that is a path of self-sovereignty, which looks like having an unshakeable faith in my Self to ensure that I am doing what is best for my health. 

Releasing the pain of the past so that one can welcome all that is meant to come with open arms is easier said than done. It's time to embrace love by valuing your vulnerability as your greatest strength they say...but how? 

Despite the instinctive pull to want to run away and just start all over because that seems like the easiest option to my ego, I am asked to surrender to the unfolding of what is so that the parts of my life that are salvageable remain intact. I have put in a lot of work to build the life I have now and what a waste it would be to throw away so much beauty just because of a few specs of dust. 

As I begin some intentional light and shadow work, the purpose of my journey into the darkness is to reclaim my truth, which is swaddled in a bundle of light, and has been kept warm by my divine spark; the part of me that is infinite and exists in the space of all that is and will ever be. While painful, I see the beauty in the awakening process as a rite of passage on my quest for enlightenment. 

until next time, with Love, the DLB